I'm typing this on October 13th, 2020. I've done 33 total entries this year. I've done four so far this month. I'm glad to be back at this for now and am going to try to get back to the discipline of it. I clearly fell off earlier. I'm pasting in this post the pre-October entries that I haven't yet posted. I'll put up the October ones later.
* Monday January 27 I am working to restart the writing diary/vent file habit. It’s the first day of the term. three classes today. had to drop the car at a mechanic’s on the way in because the window got stuck down. worried about the cost. nervous about the first day of teaching, I hope the students like me, I hope they rise to the occasion. I broke my ‘do some writing as the first job related thing and first on-the-computer thing I do of the day’ this morning, need to shore up that habit a lot. the reward though: cover of my book in my inbox! I like it! it’s exciting. I’m pleased it will be out soon. Life after the first book is odd, still settling in to it. I am not sick of the project though, I am still interested in talking about it if anyone cares to hear about it, I care about the book. Okay but now what? I did a brain dump and self-organization session over the weekend to lay out the current writing projects I’ve got going on, the ones that are connected to intellectual relationships, and I wrote out some goals. I’m going to revisit those though maybe tomorrow? We’ll see. Trying to take this semester at a walk, not a run, a cool down lap after long periods of exertion. All of that said, what am I working on now as a writer? (Always be closing! Coffee’s for closers. Should watch that scene again.) 5 minutes is up - timer was a good idea, got me into motion. I can use another minute or two. going to do something that involves new writing for a few minutes then editing for a while because that’s where one of my pieces is at in the life cycle. Shooting for 15-30 minutes of writing time today. Sustainable, rebuilding a rhythm and a practice, a livable writing life. Onto it now. ps- just checked and I started the writing diary 2 years ago in January. January 12, 2018. Starting its 3rd year now. Huh. Neat. Copied this intro scrivener and logged in writing tracker that I didn’t write first and that I did vent file before other writing. Baby steps, back to good habits. Looked at my list of writing projects. Going to do 10 minutes on LPE piece, new writing, good to do some new writing, a heavy lift even if brief (especially if brief, heh) every work day. Then 10 minutes of editing the piece of Paul and Umut. Each of those gets up to 5 minutes of spillover time. Also going to read a bit of a writing book today and read a bit of an academic book. Again baby steps to good habits. Free wrote for LPE paper, 559 words, about 15 min. Now to work on editing the thing for Paul and Umut. Did 10 minutes of work on the latter. It was challenging! 195 words plus some notes on what to do and how as I move through a major revision. Oof. Glad I have a fair bit of time on this and am not under immediate deadline pressure as it feels like the piece needs a lot. That said I gotta say diligently in motion on it so I don’t end up under pressure and having to grind it out last minute. All in all a good day of return to routine. Gotta maintain this. Tuesday 1-28-20 Slow start this morning, and tired. Three classes back to back at the end of Monday is challenging. A colleague says the next day feels like a hangover. That’s apt. In that condition I’ve used the morning ineffectively. Context matters too - if I was paid more we could afford a second car and I’d have gotten in to work sooner rather than having to wait for the bus. Oh well. The context is never favorable, like most people I don’t get to have a life of favorable contexts, have to live the life I have, write in this life, not justify not writing because of the ways this life falls short. Recentering now. I have office hours for a while soon and will likely be interrupted. I want to use the pre-office hours portion of the day effectively. I’m going to do 15 minutes of free writing on a new idea, then 15 minutes of working on editing, then onto other responsibilities during office hours. Wednesday 1-29-20 The usual! Tired again. Toddler was up super early, and the start of the semester has been demanding so far. I think I forgot the start up costs and also the mental shift from ‘I think about and keep track of 5 things’ to ‘I think about and keep track of 50 things.’ Once the semester’s rhythms are established and I’ve set stuff in motion in my classes - so the students will carry more of the discussion with less input from me - then it will ease up a little. Here I stand I can do no other. Gotta write anyway. Hoping this second cup of coffee kicks in. I will say, I’ve been back on my routine for 2 days now, so that’s something. This is day 3. I was talking with Alex this morning - he wrote a chapter outline, I am excited for him and it’s going to be a great book, and it’s restorative to spend time feeling excited about books; being other-focused is often what’s best for me - and I decided that the best thing I can do this semester writing-wise is get back to routine and discipline goals. Better shorter sessions with more regularity than longer sessions more irregularly, even if this means less total writing time. I do have projects and so on and if necessary I can at some points put in longer sessions and work in ways that are more deadline and product driven but the heart of this semester as a writer is re-establishing habits and having a functional writing life for the long term. So what am I doing today? Ten minutes on the LPE piece, even if just free writing, then 10 minutes on the piece for Umut and Paul, likely a mix of editing. Then 20 minutes of reading and note taking for the latter, the onto other responsibilities. Thursday 1-30-20 Poor of time this morning, as usual tired and distracted and today reacting poorly. Resetting now. I am feeling interested in the ideas for my new thing I’m starting, feeling a little nervous about deadlines for other work and nervous about the quality of the ideas in the thing that I’m in the middle or near-end with. I get more nervous the closer it gets to an audience that’s not my personal friends. Oh well. I would like to be fearless but bravery is good too. I’m going to do a short input of time on two things, one some new writing and one more editing, then read a while, then other responsibilities. Friday 1-31-20 At writing group, first of the semester, starting with writing diary. This is day 5 of following this plan. Pleased about that. How am I doing? I am tired, maybe teetering near to starting burn out. The set up time of the semester’s start is more than I planned on, and stresses of this point in the career cycle, plus this family stage (my kids and I need to sleep more!) and our recent illnesses. I’m feeling overly sensitive and overreading interactions with people. That’s how I’m doing. Need to work out more too. I suppose it makes some sense: spending lots of time alone in this job and spending lots of time under scrutiny as untenured, so when I’m around people I feel scrutinized. Relationships removed from the above are going well though, enjoying music writing and blog post writing. Nice to talk to Alex the other day about his book process and progress, and to talk with En today about same. All of that is good stuff, nice to make contact with the good parts of the work, the stuff I was excited about when I started, the stuff that was part of why I wanted to start. Teaching’s going well too. So, today, what’s the plan? Short work on LPE paper. That will take me through this beginning time of the writing group - this group and starting with writing=good idea! Pleased about that - and later in the day I’ll do some work on the Elgar piece. Other work responsibilities later. I think that’s also part of my mood, adjusting to the new responsibilities and managing them all. Monday 2-3-20 Monday after a mixed bag of weekend. Ehhhhh gotta buckle down and just do the work. Been a slow and distracted start this morning. The day’s offered me distractions and I’ve taken the offer. I gotta get over that and just get down to it. Going to do two 10-15 min sessions per the two main projects at the moment, then read 15 min, then onto other responsibilities. I don’t have to like it, I just have to work. I can work my way into liking it. I can’t like my way into work, that’s not how it goes for me. Tuesday 2-4-20 The usual burgh. Making myself write anyway. Looking forward to spring break and summer. I want some time off and I want some time without being evaluated. I think I have eval fatigue, even when the evals are positive. This summer I’ll prepare my tenure file too, so… Anyway. All of that said, I like the projects I am working on. I am genuinely interested in the ideas and would like to read the things I said I would write. Feeling some impostor worries, but not especially loudly so that’s good. I should find my copy of the Boice - wait, I loaned it to Josh, I should ask for it back if he’s done - and reread it, do his writers’ self-talk exercises. They helped last time. This week is shaping up meeting-ful and adminsitratey so less writing time than I would prefer. Then again my main goals right now are in discipline, structure of process, and the actual time goals are modest, so it’s fine, I can get the work done. Going to do two short sessions, one for each of the two main projects on my desk right now. Might get interrupted as I’m in office hours. Knock on wood. Wednesday 2-5-20 Checked email and whatnot before writing, and started working on writing a little (read over some of my print out of Elgar and made a few notes by hand) before vent file. That’s all a mistake. Have to stick with the best practices. As usual, tired. Stayed up too late listening to music, messing around with some old audio files (‘field recordings’ manipulated) that I made a while back. Fun to do that, I could use more creative outlets, especially music and drawing related, but the lack of sleep is a challenge - Lottie woke up in the middle of the night as well. Oh well. Hard stuff but ordinary hard and I’m good at working hard. This also isn’t forever, the context will improve. I’m trying to get things done but am also and even more so working to preserve and expand my work capacity so that I can take advantage more fully of more favorable contexts when they begin to occur: working sustainably is part of that. Burning out would be pound foolish. Yesterday I got the Elgar piece re-outlined and some of the prose chunked out into new order, feeling good about that, I’ve hit the phase where the work feels possible again on this piece, which is cool. Going to work on it now. Ah, also: temptation now will be to overwork, so I’m going to 30 minutes and stop after that. Again, sustainable. If I don’t work as much now even though I want to work more, I will feel frustrated but I also will be in effect prolonging the number of days I spend wanting to work. Actually maybe I should do 15 min on this piece and 15 on the LPE piece, for which I have less feeling of possibility… a planned and rational distribution of discomfort… Steer by best practice, not impulses and comfort. Plus if I overwork other responsibilities will stack up and eventually get between me and the writing work. So writing less now means writing more in total, and means a little more frustration now but less discomfort total. Thursday 2-6-20 Diligence failure, poor use of time this morning. That’s one of the threats of being tired. Sigh. I am not going to waste even more time beating myself up about this, I am just going to get down to work. I forgot my notes for the Thompson piece in my office and am a coffee shop. I’m going to do 15 minutes of writing on the LPE essay then try 15 min on Thompson essay but might bail if it goes poorly without my notes, then walk to my office, 15 (more?) min on Thompson essay, then gym, then other responsibilities. Friday 2-7-20 I’m at faculty writing group we’re spending the first bit writing quietly together. I should schedule more sessions like this, I like this kind of writing alongside each other kind of thing. I’m in the usual headspace and condition - tired, stressed etc - though it’s quieter in context of this shared writing space. I’m figuring out my argument still in the middle of this second drafting process for this Thompson essay. That’s challenging, one of the peak intimidation times. Going to get onto it now. Monday 2-10-20 I thought I had a meeting this morning but it’s 2 weeks from today. That’s a bit embarrassing and I wish I hadn’t rushed out the house, would have liked more time with my kids. The time freed up is nice. I’ve lost some of it refocusing, need to get better at planning and at things I can pick up rapidly during unexpected loose end moments (‘edge time’ I think it’s sometimes called?). Anyway. In the chair now. Going to write for 20 minutes on Thompsons piece then maybe another 20 on the LPS piece, then onto other responsibilities. I would like to finish the Thompson thing ASAP. Tuesday 2-11-20 In the chair. The usual starting point - tired, etc. It’s a good music day though. I am excited about some new records coming out (new Bruxa Maria!!), and I am frustrated that I am poorly paid so I need to check my bank balance tonight before buying any records. I’ve been poorly paid for pretty much my whole life and I am morally opposed to that but I am not especially angry, it’s been so long that it just feels like a fact of life. What I am very angry about, however, is my employer’s posture of respecting and valuing me while paying me poorly. That particular combination of rhetoric and action is crazy making. Anyways. I am going to go work on my marxist essay now. Oh on a more positive note: I’ve been asked to write for the Legal History Blog in July, about my book. That is very exciting. I’m a little intimidated, and I am flattered and honored. It’s a cool institution and I’m pleased people over there care about my work. Thursday 2-13-20 Didn’t diary yesterday. Day was super action packed, teaching and student meeting. I did make myself write for 15 min or so at the end of the day, which was hard because my head felt very foggy. Today I am tired out. The beginning of the semester is challenging and the fall and winter interim (so-called break) was high workload so I have accumulated tiredness. Sigh. Anyway. On an up note, I got the proof for the cover of my book, including the blurbs. It looks really nice and the quotes are touching. I need to write everyone thank you notes. I am at a coffee shop now. Going to work on the Thompson essay for 30min then see what else to do. Friday 2-14-20 In the chair late in the day, day got away from me for various reasons. The usual! Tired etc. I’m excited about the proof of my book cover, that’s cool, and I like the record review I just wrote. Going to work a while on this Thompson essay! 20 minutes I think then other responsibilities. Monday 2-17-20 Had to run some errands this morning and went to the gym so less time before teaching. Going to the gym is such a mood improver, worth the time costs and I suspect might in the long run turn into a time saver/time generator because of the mood and focus improvements. (I also went to the bakery and got my family donuts, doing something nice for my family before I go to work is also a mood improver, reduces the sense of guilt being away from them and is a way to spend time on what I really care most about.) I checked my email before I started writing, not a best practice. That’s a temptation with the gym in the morning. Resist it! I was going to work on the Elgar paper then remembered I sent it to Rob for a read, kind of him to do that and it’s nice to have it off my desk. Going to wok on the LPE paper for 20 minutes. Started to just jump into it without dairying first, which would have been fine but I want to keep the diary habit for when I need it. Onward. I did ten minutes and write 370 words, that’s enough for today on this given other responsibilities and I think I need to do more reading and sifting of old drafts, I identified those tasks in the writing for today. Tuesday 2-18-20 Late start today due to other commitments. That late start meant I really had to check email and do a bit of other work before writing. Situationally-compelled departure from best practices. Rest of the day might end up pretty busy so I’m going to write now for a little while. (Tuesdays are shaping up to be less writing-amenable than I had hoped. This schedule of all my teaching on M/W has some perks but it has costs in that I end up with big blocks of writing time, which is inefficient and unpleasant. I have to think about if I want to keep this schedule or not, if the other things that recommend it are worth it.) I’m back to the Thompson essay. Rob kindly read and gave comments. The essay is not yet ready and that is hard, frustrating, and I feel nervous I can’t pull it off as it turns out to be more complex than I thought. I think the timeline’s been delayed by book and other factors beyond my control and if I think of the timeline in terms of inputs of time on the essay rather than calendar days I’m actually on track fine. Going to work on it now. Wednesday 2-19-20 Feeling tired and kinda resentful. I am tired of being tired, I am tired of working so hard, I am tired of giving up so much like time with my kids and time for other interests outside my job. Oh well. This isn’t forever. What’s really going on is that I had a hard fall because of a combination of factors like finishing my book and overcommitting to projects, plus career stage stuff like more service and life stage stuff tied to my kids’ ages, then we all got real sick in January and I had to spend time on the projects I overcommitted to so I didn’t get to decompress enough, and I took on a bit more this spring in part for the money and the tenure file, so I’m now feeling the accumulated tiredness. It’ll work out, and I like what I am pulling off and I am proud that I can pull it off, especially in this kind of context. Going to work a bit on this Thompson essay then switch to other responsibilities. (I wish I’d gone to the gym today…!) Thursday 2-20-20 In the chair. Relatively alert? Relatively calm. I don’t want to write this essay and don’t believe I can finish it. That’s all just noise, poor mental hygiene, need to clean that up, do another round of mental posture work, gotta get my copy of the Boice book back from my friend. Got music on, got a window of time, gonna write on this essay a while now. Friday 2-21-20 Today went off the rails! I am resetting for a brief writing session now. I will pick myself up and dust myself off and work better on Monday. Will also try to get more done in the margins of the weekend. Ugh. Monday 2-24-20 The diary is feeling less necessary at least today and Friday. Not sure why. I’m not in an especially better mood. Maybe the diary’s not about mood so much as getting myself into writing regardless of mood? I think of it as about changing how I feel but maybe it’s more changing how I behave in response to how I feel? Or bits of all fo the above - it does help document mental habits, hence the refrain peridocialyl of ‘must improve mental hygiene’ (taking a lot of will not to fix that typo…! I will let it stand, I will!) I want to keep up the discipline of writing in here though for the sake of the benefits even if right now they are benefits I don’t really need, because I want them in place for when I do need them. Routine’s benefits are systemic, it builds safeguards that I want in place for when they do help. That they’re not helping right now is not reason to abandon them. (Plus this has other benefits like the mental hygiene need-identification, plus it’s just nice to see lots of entries, small sense of accomplishment, and it’s not like this is time consuming, this entry’s been 3 and a half minutes so far.) Okay onto the work day. 30 minutes on the Elgar/Thompson piece then other responsibilities. Wednesday 2-26-20 Forgot to write in here first yesterday. Had a productive day though. Today has gotten away from me. I think I overdid it a little yesterday and also didn’t get enough sleep. Other responsibilities intruded, and, tired, I didn’t exercise the discipline to put writing first. Now I’m short on writing time. Oh well. Not the end of the world, everyone has off days, but I need to not make a habit of it. I’m tired enough that I might struggle to do the thinking that writing requires but I’m going to try. Short session necessary because I teach soon. Here goes. Monday 3-2-20 In the chair. I slept okay last night and night before. I was feeling less tired but now can feel that I am fading a little - skipped coffee this morning, trying to cut back, maybe this is the cost. I think I need to dial down workload as soon as I can get clear of current projects (and the wave of grading that’s coming in)… so I guess in July… heh. I am feeling a bit nervous about this conference paper but I’m going to just write like I’m talking and see what I get. Here goes. Monday 5-11-20 Back to this! I need it. Haven’t done one of these since the Before Times. The During Times have been hard, distracted by the news and the uncertainty, and online teaching’s been exhausting. Also hard to find ways to work at home. I try to focus on how we have it better than many, but I just feel guilty and more scared that the bottom will drop out, and furious at the ‘we care about you’ rhetoric paired with unsustainable demands from my employer. Anyway. The semester is over. Aaaand two of my kids came in to chat with me in the room I was working in, 2yo wanted to sit in my lap. I gave her a hug and changed locations. Working feels impossible and I don’t want to do it either. This is what dissertating was like, so I know I can do it. This is so hard and I am frustrated that there’s been little institutional effort to reduce workload, at least any that I can see, and there’s been massive increase in workload as well. It makes the personal expressions of good feeling sit poorly. Like I guess I’m glad people in charge feel, as individuals, respect and gratitude for the people lower on the food chain, but this isn’t a work life that feels like being respected. Anyways. Down to the work. Tuesday 5-12-20 Work email today stating an intention to be back in-person in the fall. Feeling nervous about that, really don’t want to get the virus! A lot of time between now and then, trying to tell myself to not take it too seriously, but it’s distracting and I’m annoyed about the uncertainty (news flash! work is inhumane!) and once again frustrated that this comes from people who speak a vocabulary of values and care. Oh well. I’m going to work on a LHB post. Thursday 5-21-20 My spring semester is over. It was hard. I’m glad it’s over. I’m nervous for fall and resentful I have to teach this summer class. The class is cool though and less work than the semester was, so I can start to decompress. Also a little tense I have to start doing tenure file stuff soon, nervous about going up in the fall, but also glad I will be - these are not times where it’s good stay untenured longer! I want to get bak to a writing routine. I’m going to work on blog posts again for now, give myself a little while to do that plus writing diary to get some routine/rhythm in place, then start thinking about more ambitious projects. Monday 5-25-20 Slow start today. The usual complaints - tired, distracted, etc. I wrote a draft of a sort of column for an academic newsletter. I like it well enough. Glad I wrote it. I might see if I can make the time and energy this summer to do more of this sort of thing, relatively short form writing related to my stuff. I’m not sure if I want to do the reading it’d require but it’d be nice to have done it. I’m also craving a big project, I have to figure that out. I wish I had time for more of a break. I could take a break from writing but there’s all the tenure file and teaching prep and so on, and I think if I cut writing I will resent that other work more. Writing is consolatory and offsets the ways that other stuff depletes me. I am not looking forward to the isolation of the summer but I am dreading it less than last year because the transition from face to face human contact to summer isolation was more drastic than the transition from online professional life to summer. I dunno. In any case, I’m going to work on another blog post. Wednesday 6-3-20 It’s 12:15. We had our faculty writing group tele meeting today. Nice to be back in the group. I realized in the conversation there that I will benefit from doing some more macro-level planning for the summer, laying out goals and deadlines/milestones. I feel anxious about this because I don’t know how to chop the project into steps yet. Knowing myself that’s a sign that this is good work for me to do! I think I’m going to set up some conversations with friends and colleagues to hold me accountable for this and to help me figure out the steps, or at least commiserate with me while I figure out the steps. Some steps: - Figure out some key secondary works to read and take notes on - Figure out some key primary sources that are available now that I can work on (pieces of legislation, court decisions) - Reread the notes and plans I have for it so far, take further notes based on those - Review my other writing projects, pick two that I can develop as side projects that are secondary to the main project - Figure out a daily routine (this is easier for me than the macro-planning, do this later, I’m just brainstorming right now) - After I have the above sorted out, break the information generated by those into smaller and subsequent steps: acquiring materials, reading materials, etc. - Put those steps into chronological form, in the calendar. That will also bound how much time I allocate to those steps. I am very nervous about new projects. This is partly due to where I am on the project-lifecycle for these projects, and partly due to my routines and habits having fallen apart due to the [looks around] whole world. Daily routine: I should get back to the best practices I focused on before. Don’t do anything for my job and don’t do anything on a device until after I’ve written, and I may add ‘and read’ to that. Order of operations should be writing diary/vent file, free write, read, take notes on reading, other work. I’m going to start with exactly 30 minutes of free writing, exactly 20 minutes of reading, from ten 10 20 minutes of note taking per day. That’s all on the new main project. After that, other work, followed by 30 minutes work on a secondary project, at least 15 min of it writing/free writing, I can read for it if I need to as well, after writing. I should remember to cycle between side projects to develop them: I want a portfolio of materials at different stages that I can plug in to as I go along for times when the main project is off to readers. That will be a while! Also: I should add to my daily routine logging time and add to my weekly routine a check-in for the projects as a whole and checking in to the social/interpersonal/communal life of the project: do I have conversations with people scheduled, etc. This feels like a good start at planning. Still feels daunting but more manageable now. I should set up a new to-do list and self-organization file in here for writing, capture the above in that file. Five min left in my 20 minute writing session, going to write on the project now. Did that and did about 8 minutes free writing in response to the FWG convo about teaching (file ‘6-3-20 notes on how teaching can help my research’). I should capture that in the new file I mentioned above that I should create as part of re-organizing myself for the new projects and whatnot. I had another thought and have lost it now! What was it? Argh! Ah I remember. Another thing that would help would be to try to map out smaller things I can write that will serve the larger project, like I did with conference paper. I heard Chris Tomlins say that about his newest book once, the Nat Turner book, that he’d written essays en route to it. I do also want to just read as a reader and make time for that, works by friends, works in my fields etc, for instrumental reasons like feeling competent/up to date in my fields again and for that as an intrinsic good, also because it’s thought provoking to read others’ work (our work being internally dialogized) and because it’s nice to make contact with friends and colleagues in that way via their books, and just the intrinsic good that is reading. I should plan this out too as it will go better. Plan it out on the daily routine level and on the goals/deadlines level - make myself syllabi for my different reading purposes. This too will go better if I can build in a more interpersonal/communal aspect. Blogging my notes would help too I think. Oh, and read about writing, including Steinbeck’s writing diaries! That also will help. I don’t need to leap to 100% or ever hit 100% but these are best practices and trying to practice them, even when I don’t fully hit them, will help, just keeping these guidelines in my head as aspirations is helpful and also provides more of a sense of forward motion as well. Friday 6-12-20 I can feel the summer slipping away. My summer class is nearly done. Now what? Tenure file work, teaching prep, etc etc. What am I writing? At present I’m not. I’m frustrated about that. Thieves stealing my time. Today I reread the draft proposal I wrote for a second book. It’s written in a tone of confidence that I don’t feel, it’s really just hypotheses, guesses. I do like it though. Soon I should reread it and write up a list of tasks that it implies doing, use that to guide my work on the book. I should also figure out an allocation of time over the summer to different kinds of tasks, and different writing projects. There are 70 days until the first day of fall teaching. 50 of them are work days, tops. If I can do 2 hours per day on the new book that will be 100 hours. That will help, I will be in a different place after 100 hours, even if I am not at an ideal place yet. Aside from that, another 1-2 hours per day on other writing tasks. That will be enough writing work for the summer. 7-22-20 Fifteen minute timer set. I’d fallen off these and then was experimenting with hand writing them as morning pages. I wanted that to work better but I find it’s not what I want. Morning pages and other journaling practices may have other benefits and I’m open to experimenting with that stuff further but for me in my writing practice at present doing the vent file the way I was doing it is a better practice for the time being at least when it comes to my writing specifically. I am rattled by the pandemic and it’s (mis)handling by various authority figures and I keep getting re-rattled by news and by work emails. It’s like a loop or something and a kind of hyper vigilance I think. I want to work on reducing those stimuli and also on shaping my responses to those stimuli. Little by little. I am not where I want to be in the arc of my writing life this summer or in output, stage of project, etc. Any of it. I’m working on just accepting where I am instead of judging it. I am in a good place re: the above - arc etc - even though I can imagine being in a better place. Don’t let better be the enemy of good. Or rather try to reduce that habit. So, today, next: writing session on a workshop paper the onto the rest of the to-do list. I procrastinated starting. Loneliness and covid fear and fear of writing! Going to write now. Wrote on the LPE piece, went well. Wrote a tiny bit too long, pressed against stopping in time. Then procrastinated, posted Legal History Blog guest post, procrastinated more. I think the vulnerability I’ve felt and the attention, which has been good attention, has been distracting, invites judgment into my head, even positive judgment does that, harder to get and stay in a flow state.
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